Movement

Part 1
My last trip home I found myself stuck in bed with the swine flu, which meant I couldn’t see my brother, sister-in-law, or my nephew and nieces. By the time I could see them, we made a rule I was not to touch them or come within a few feet for a few days. That stinkin tore my heart out, but I’d rather that then my little 4 month old preemie niece catch it.

Anyway, when I finally could see them, I said to my nephew (Nathan, 4), “OH how I want to hug you and kiss you! Give Uncle Aaron a big hug for me!” and i turned around to say hi to my niece. Nathan quickly responded, “Aunt Sarah!” I turned back to see Nathan giving my little brother the biggest hug I’ve ever seen him give. He continued, “Look how much I’m hugging you!” AH!

Part 2
Recently I was talking with a certain Mrs. Crowell regarding an upcoming event. She mentioned she recently ate dinner with my parents and said, “Sarah, I can see the Lord changing your parents through you. Your dad kept saying things like, “well Sarah always says this, and I’ve found that to be true.”

I didn’t know what to say. I’m not sure if my heart has yet taken in the implications of that.

Part 3
After 3 months have passed since she moved in, a certain Ms. Amundson has still proven to be the gift of God to me. We laugh because we fight like sisters and I end up having to apologize 3 times a day. But nonetheless, we still eat together on our lunch break every tuesday and thursday. I watch her fight for my heart. She is seriously the gift of God to me, and I’m learning how to love by loving her.

The last few days I’ve processed with her love languages. The conversations haven’t been long, just me mentioning things I’ve noticed about me and her. I mentioned how much words affect me, both positive and negative. Yesterday we were sitting at dinner with about 15 people and she said, “ok, now lets all go around the table and say what we love about Sarah.”

This certain Ms. Amundson is seriously one of the best listeners I know.

The Anchor for the Soul

Things that remain:

7.  Hope (its still remaining)

Thoughts

Its funny how the Lord really is with the broken.  I’m remembering how when i was first diagnosed with Celiac Disease, I called a certain Mrs. Boasso and she prayed, “God, help Sarah milk this.”  I knew exactly what she was talking about.  God loves the broken, and this is now my place (one of them anyway) of encounter with the Lord.  And if He comes to the broken, I need to milk this for all its worth.

He’s been really close.  I’m kind of mad at Him for it (anyone who has ever wanted to step out of their skin and back into how life was before will know what I’m talking about)…but alas I would hate it more if He wasn’t.  Part of the biggest issue is I hate my position.  I hate my emotional state, I hate being stuck in bed, I hate not thinking clearly…and the list goes on and on.  I was sitting in the prayer room the other day and someone started singing Tim Reimherr’s song which goes like this, “I’m more then what these ashes say for they will fade away when He comes for me…And when my heart condemns on every side I take refuge in the truth: I am the rose to You.”  Consequently, my biggest prayer has continued to be, “Lord, love me now.”

I had a dream a few nights ago in which basically the Lord told me to sing my way though this night…to sing hope.  So i’m off to write my own version of Song of Solomon 5:10-16.  I’ve started with Hebrews 6.

“This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil, where the forerunner has entered for us, even Jesus, having become High Priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek” (Hebrews 6:19-20).

The things I’ve come to are as follows:

-According to the previous verses, hope is that God is not unjust and the immutability of His counsel.

-Hope  1. is an anchor for the soul 2.  enters His presence.

The Secret Life of Randomness

I was going through my facebook tonight when i came across one of those “write 25 random things” that was going around a while ago that I filled out. I thought it was funny:

1. If we were to be called by the meaning of our names, I would be called: “Princess Lily Worth-a-lot.”

2. My favorite color is lavender/periwinkle. Lavender is sometimes to gray…but periwinkle is sometimes to bright. However, the randomness comes in with how I chose this as my favorite color. When I was little I would listen to this tape about a pony named Lavender who would run in fields of lavender. I had no idea what lavender looked like…I just knew it was my favorite color. The first time I saw it, I was quite re leaved I actually liked it.

3. Similar to #2…one of my first favorite foods was fettuccine Alfredo. Again, having never seen it…let alone taste it, i decided this was my favorite due to a song my best friend Sarah and I made up on the bus…”fettuccine, fettuccine, fettuccine’s cool”

4. One of my favorite topics of conversation is “Natural Family Planning.”

5. I have recently discovered (Thanks to Jono Combrink) that almost everything I like, I like because someone I love likes it or it is a shared experience with them. Ex: x-men, simon birch, YWAM, calvin and hobbes, barnes and noble, Bethel College, pool, soccer, wrestling (real not WWF), Football…the Steelers and the Browns, Michael Buble, Daniel Beddingfield, Caedmons Call, Waterdeep, Rascal Flatts “Bless the Broken Road”…and the list goes one and on.

6. My favorite movie to watch when SICK is Beauty and the Beast.

7. I am slightly obsessed with Popsicles…particularly grape…or cherry…both favorites.

8. Due to an attack of killer mosquitoes in Russia, I now how a phobia of mosquitoes, quiet buzzing noises that sound like mosquitoes, and gnats. And don’t give me this “get over it” stuff. I had 36 welts/bites on one arm alone, 26 on my face, and I had to walk around with wet baking soda caked on at a conference I was a guest speaker at.

9. all toilets should use cold water. Hot steamy water toilets are pretty much the worst thing in the world. trust me.

10. I tore the cartilage in both of my knees at the same time.

11. Touch is my main love language…which sucks because it is the only one that can’t be regularly met outside of marriage.

12. I sleep with my earlobes in my ears

13. My mom still picks out my clothes

14. I used to pretend my brothers were aliens when they would take me snowmobiling. I would act like I was on a radio/talk show and these guest Aliens would visit every year…and by every year I mean for YEARS in a row. In my defense, the shadows of snowmobile helmets really do look like aliens

15. I still listen to Psalty, Adventures in Odyssey, and still watch MacGyver.

16. I was in the movie “Left Behind” as an extra.

17. I once told my best friend that her belief of “Post Tribulation” was not in the Bible…now it is one of my main messages! Ah! How much we learn.

18. I cried like a baby at my brothers wedding…well maybe more like an inconsolable widow. I was a bridesmaid…on stage…in front of all of my bother and sister-in-laws closest friends and family. It was so bad people asked my brother and his wife afterward if I was ok with them getting married. They told me they weren’t sure I was going to make it. It wasn’t pretty…I was 15.

19. i got my first ticket 2 weeks after I got my lisence. It was for reckless
driving.

20. I used to have a “pooping” tree.

21. If you ever want to get me going, just ask me if Jesus is God. Cause He is.

22. I cry a lot.

23. i’m slightly obsessed with family and tradition…and by slightly i mean massively.

24. I like to do things by myself with people. For example, perfect hang out time…me doing homework with someone in the room…not talking…just there. My best friend is learning to do this VERY well. We call it “Troyer hang out time.” We used to do this more subtly…like we would sit on the phone (Sarah at her house and me at mine) not saying a word and watching tv “together”.

25. I feel a lot of pressure to come up with a good last “random.”

The Secret Thoughts of Doctor’s Patients

It’s always a bummer when you remember that you have an appointment at 8am the following morning at 1am that night…especially when that appointment is with a Gastrointerologist.    Though six hours of sleep is not enough for me on ANY night, I do have to say this time it was worth it.  Not because of my sickness (obviously) or my doctor  (he’s pretty stinking cool though), but because of the laugh I was able to partake in while observing other patients.

I haven’t decided yet if GI doctors attract the elderly solely because the elderly are sick, or if it also involves that many elders have nothing better to do then to worry about their health.  Either way, I know that when a 23 year old girl walks into the office the only people who don’t try to avoid eye contact are the elderly.  Anyone under 50, on the other hand, suddenly are very involved in their paperwork.  For example, after my appointment i sat in the chair in the examination room with the door open waiting for the Dr. to return with my lab request form.  While waiting, I had the opportunity to watch two younger men get their blood pressure taken before their appointment.  When the second young man got up to go into his examination room, we caught eye contact…and his facial expression screamed, “oh crap!  everyone knows I have digestion issues!”  Upon exiting, I experienced similar circumstances.  The young man sitting in the waiting room noted when the door opened, but immediately went back to ferociously finishing his paper work while his aura said, “I’m not here.  I have nothing wrong with me.  I’m too young to have anything wrong with me.  I’m just filling out paperwork for…I’m ready to not wait anymore.”

They’ve Fallen in Pleasant Places

The other day I had the privilege of eating dinner with a certain Ms. Steiner.   Of course the topic of my health came up (it seems as though it has taken over many areas of my life…i’m not sure how I feel about that), and in the verbal processing of it all I told her something I wrote in my journal the previous day, “I’m not sure how or why they come, but I know they’ve fallen in pleasant places.”

This came after attempting again to get into the meat of Psalm 16 and praying through tears, “the lines have fallen in pleasant places” whether I believed it or not.  I guess I was more convincing myself then praying it.  It was more like, “no.  They HAVE fallen in pleasant places.  This is the GOOD leadership of the Lord.  This will keep me on the path to life.”

Then all of a sudden it hit me.  “wait.  This will keep me on the path to life.  I have a good inheritance and he is able to complete HIs work in me!  If I just keep on saying yes to His leadership I know I’ll be  ready!  These boundaries are His leadership and will actually give me what i want if I say yes!”  And that is when phase 1 of settling started.

These lines are beautiful.  They indeed have fallen in pleasant places.  i don’t know how they will make me perfect.  i don’t know why He saw this way as perfect.  I don’t know when these boundaries will change…but I know for now they are perfect for this time and place.

There is joy in the boundaries.

The Process of Recording- Part 7

Please note, “The Process of Recording” was written primarily for friends named Modge who have been following our main character’s story and therefore will contain mundane frivolous details that matter to no one but Modge and the author.  Please keep this in mind while reading.

Chapter 7

“The Light Over the Fridge”

It was 4:40 am in Korea.  Lydia lay awake in the queen size bed next to Zoe who was dead asleep as Lydia should be.  Lydia did not know whether to be excited or frustrated at this whole situation.

Lydia had been in bed since 9:30 the night before attempting yet failing at falling asleep. She was not the only one, however, whose internal clock said, “no way!  I’m not tired!”  Sid and Zoe both had much difficultly going to sleep the night before.  It wasn’t until after 10:30 when Zoe finally did, and Lydia thought for sure she would beat Sid to sleep who was finding all sorts of activities to do instead of closing her eyes.  You can’t blame them.  It was difficult to sleep in that room.  It wasn’t because the room was bad; for sure it was not.  However,  there was this little light over the refrigerator that stayed on 24/7.  It was this light that illuminated the mind with all sorts of anti-sleep feelings.  It was this light that by the time Lydia had fallen asleep, long after Sid, around 1, that woke her up at 2:30, and now at 4:30.

Also, Lydia had been very sick the night before.  She had been battling a cold or something since she was in the states, but felt like she had had some break through in the most recent days.  The day prior, Celiac disease gave her some serious pain.  She laid their on the bed trying to work it like the other times, but it did not work.  Then she drew a bath (in the middle of watching Sense and Sensibility with the girls.  So the girls brought the pillows, cushions, and blankets into the bathroom to finish watching it as Lydia lay in her swimming suit in the tub.  It was tons of fun and a definite bonding experience), but that didn’t work as it had in the past.  That is what put Lydia in bed by 9:30.  By 10:00 no longer did Lydia feel the pain of Celiac disease.  Now she laid there, body aching all over from her back, to her head to her eye balls, the latter being the worst.  She had a sore throat and the taste of the flu in her mouth.  Now, Lydia was very sick.  Lying there, she worried what would be done.  She had three international trips coming up in the next two weeks with two of them still in East Asia (the hypo-sensitive swine flu area of the world).

It was the mix of these circumstances that caused Lydia to find herself battling anger.  She called down to the front desk to see if there was any possible way to turn that annoying light (that had made it difficult to sleep the previous nights as well) off.  Sure enough, they sent someone up who turned it off within 30 seconds.  The man bowed after showing her how to turn it off and left.  Now, Lydia did not know to be excited that the light was off or frustrated that it had plagued them the previous nights.   She chose the former as she opened up her journal to record these funny, yet painful, events.  Now, she hoped to have better luck sleeping.

The Process of Recording- Part 6

Please note, “The Process of Recording” was written primarily for friends named Modge who have been following our main character’s story and therefore will contain mundane frivolous details that matter to no one but Modge and the author.  Please keep this in mind while reading.

Chapter 6

“To Sweaty Rooms and ‘Back’”

Aaron and Pam placed Seoul on the itinerary in order meet with leaders in Korea who may be interested in hosting a onething conference in the later years.  Consequently that meant many meetings for Mr. and Mrs. Kelly and full days with the children for Lydia.  Lydia was pleasantly surprised, however, by the enjoyable activities that aided in her mission to have fun with the children.

In order to fully understand the blessing, one must understand the original tensions of the situation.  Erik, the six-year-old son of Aaron and Pam, had been coughing up a lung since before they even left the states.  Now, Sid decided to share in the cough and take it up a notch to a fever and the flu (we were careful not to say it was the swine flu, however, later

to Ben’s mother, a doctor, informed us the swine flu was a mild form of the flu).  On top of this, East Asia in August is similar to a muggy sauna.  Therefore when the Kelly’s and Lydia arrived at the place they were staying at and found the air conditioning did not work properly, they were a bit concerned that sickness mixed with a hot sleeping environment would be bad for everyone.  Sure enough, it was.  Sid coughed miserably for about 5 hours that night which kept Pam up as well.

The next morning, Lydia was to take the children to breakfast in the school cafeteria (they were staying in a bible school).  The helpful host showed the cafeteria to Lydia the night prior as well as a special room that would have a western breakfast.  Therefore, after a difficult night sleep and two sick children, Lydia hulled Sid, Zoe, and Erik down stairs for breakfast.  However, once they arrived in the “western breakfast” area, a student who said they were not allowed to eat in here because it was a special room only for people with the pass immediately confronted them.  Lydia nicely explained one of the leaders of the school (the host) invited them too.  The student wouldn’t hear it and pointed them to the door.  Lydia walked over to the authentic Korean breakfast station and decided immediately that they would eat in the room.  Later that day Aaron spoke with the host, explained the situation including the air-conditioning and sickness, and immediately they moved hotels where they remained the rest of their visit in Seoul.

The following day is when all the fun began for the children. If you looked across the lake from the other side of the hotel, you would see a rip off of Disney World’s Magic Kingdom Castle in a world of its own.  Lotte World (pronounced lot-tee) offered an array of activities from an indoor theme park complete with hot air balloon rides across the ceiling, the Korean version of the Indiana Jones Ride, and a rollercoaster that goes upside down, to an outdoor amusement park with one of the scariest rides Lydia had ever seen in her life.  There are not many rides Lydia has chickened out of in her life, but lets just say she was glad that by the time they got around to riding it, it was closed.  That day Lydia had the opportunity to take Erik and Zoe on their first go at an upside down rollercoaster, as well as a sweet ride on the swings.  Later, after Pam, Sid, and Erik left, Lydia and Chloe were able to go on one of Lydia’s all-time favorite rides.  It wasn’t the longest, or the scariest.  It did not make her stomach jump like other rides had, but it did amaze her.  This was the first rollercoaster that completely took her by surprise.  From the initial super fast beginning up the hill, to the change in rollercoaster style half way through, this was definitely one of Lydia’s favorite rides.

Activities that caused Lydia’s stomach to drop did not end after Lotte World.  The following day Lydia took the children to see the royal palace.  Though interesting and informative, it was not the inventive way they heated the buildings or the 700 year old tree that caused her insides to jump.  It was not the neat fountains that the children played in afterwards that did it either.  Rather, it was on the way home on the subway that made Lydia terrified.  It was that subway ride Lydia did not want to do again.  Lydia wasn’t against subways; she was just against subway platforms that lost the guard boards that keep small children from falling under the subway.  And boy oh boy did that happen.  Lydia held Erik’s hand as they walked onto the subway when all of a sudden Erik slipped in between the crack and dangled from Lydia’s hand through the crack and under the subway.  Though it probably only lasted about 5 seconds, Lydia was sure the doors would close before she could pull him out and the worst would occur.  She pulled as fast and hard as she could as all the people rushed passed her to get on the subway.  Everyone was yelling at Erik to get out, as well as Lydia, which didn’t help any.  Like Erik needed to be told to get out from under the subway any faster.  Suddenly a man grabbed his other arm and helped pull him out.

Stomachs did not stop churning for a while.  Lydia held Erik the rest of the way home as he processed (mostly internally) the recent event.  “My mom is going to be so mad,” he said through his tears.  With the hurry of trying to save his life, Erik’s new flip-flop fell off under the subway.  Lydia tried to convince him that his flip flop was not important at all to his mother, but he couldn’t get it off his mind for a very long time.  “I kept day dreaming that I was going to fall all the way down underneath the subway,” he continued to confide in his nanny.  Obviously he was reliving the event as he tried to explain his fears.  Lydia did not know how to help his little heart process, so she continued to hold and hug him whispering how brave he was.

With one flip missing, Lydia helped and carried Erik all the way home.  The poor kid normally doesn’t like walking, but this time all he wanted to do was walk.  “Can I get DOWN PLEASE!” he kept asking.  “But your back is so sweaty!” he explained.  Lydia felt bad.  It was true.  In all the heat Korea offered and the close contact with the six-year-old boy riding on her back, she really needed to get cleaned up.  “I’m sorry buddy!  You can lean back, but you don’t have shoes.  We’ll be home soon.”  Lydia was thankful when the host suggested taking a taxi home.  So was Erik.

The Process of Recording- Part 5

Please note, “The Process of Recording” was written primarily for friends named Modge who have been following our main character’s story and therefore will contain mundane frivolous details that matter to no one but Modge and the author.  Please keep this in mind while reading.

Chapter 5

“Fish N’ Toys”

After two days in mainland China (details will be sent directly to Modge at a later date), Lydia and the Kellys found themselves meeting with Victor, an owner of an impressively large toy company, in the display room for the toys he produces.  The Kelly’s met Victor back in China where he requested their presence at his office in order to give the children gifts.  Aaron and Pam did not know what to expect out of the toy factory and prepared their children for “little” toys.  The children set their expectations low, but their hopes high.  Hopes won out as the children walked away with 2 large remote control cars, a remote control helicopter, a remote controlled racecar/four wheeler that did extremely cool tricks, three candy dispensers with candy to put in them, and a full sized motorized three-wheeled segue.  The third wheel was added for tricks.  Victor warned Aaron and Pam that though he was not normally one who would require a helmet, the strongly encouraged the wearing of a helmet for the scooter.  It was after this visit that Aaron announced to the family that they were officially spoiled.  Lydia even walked away with a remote control car for her nephew.

After the trip to the toy room, Uncle Frank took the Kelly’s and Lydia to a fishing village in the new territories of Hong Kong.  There they each picked out their dinner.  This was no ordinary menu however.  In fact there was no written menu.  The menu was fish tanks that contained the actual fish that would soon loose their lives as a sacrifice for the filling of the everyone’s hunger.  The options stretched from grouper to lobster, from oyster to shrimp, to a bunch of other fish that Lydia didn’t know the names of.  Lydia asked for grouper deep-fried without the breading and soaked in butter.  It was a good pick.  She didn’t really know how they made it, but decided it was really good.

The Process of Recording- Part 4

Please note, “The Process of Recording” was written primarily for friends named Modge who have been following our main character’s story and therefore will contain mundane frivolous details that matter to no one but Modge and the author.  Please keep this in mind while reading.

Chapter 4

“Beautiful Houses, Boats, and Swings”

Lydia was excited she had been able to lie by the pool as she watched the Kelly kids that Saturday morning.  Mr. and Mrs. Kelly had been meeting important business people who were going to finance the house of prayer in Hong Kong, so she was left at the unbelievable multi-million dollar modern home with the three kids and the “helpers” (Anne, the head helper who pretty much did everything from house work, to landscaping, to driving, Lisa, the chef, and Roberta, who helped Anne and Lisa).  How could she call this a “missions trip?”  Food was prepared for them at the time they requested (of course with gluten free food for Lydia on the side), the dishes were done, their laundry was washed as long as the put their dirty close in the hamper, their beds were made for them, and they could simply ask Anne to drive them anywhere they wanted to go.  This was more like a pampered vacation.  Missions trip or pampered vacation, Lydia simply laid by the pool soaking up the sun and hearing the splash of children jumping off of the landscaped rocks into the water.

Later that day, Lydia found herself standing in a line outside of none other then Noah’s Ark.  Now of course this wasn’t the real Noah’s Ark, but rather a to scale Noah’s Ark complete with the interactive museum on the bottom level, a hotel on the top level, with all sorts of levels in between (which Lydia could not later remember what they were).  The Ark was located on an old fishing island off of Hong Kong. The Kellys and Lydia were able to ride a ferry across to it.  They were there to spend the afternoon exploring all the Ark had to offer.  First, the family walked through the interactive museum seeing how the Ark may have been set up on the inside.  This experience caused many more questions to arise in Lydia’s mind about how exactly Noah and his family made it.  For example, how did they see anything?  There were no windows except for on the top and those were probably very little a to high to go up to.  How did they see on any other level?  How did they clean the ark?  Where did they go to the bathroom?  What happened if an animal died?  After going through this part of the museum, the whole crew walked through a room that told other religious versions of the story accompanied with figurines each culture created to pass on this tale.  Lydia appreciated that every other god was lower case contrasting the rest of the museum where the God of the Bible used a capital G.

After the museum, the Kellys, Sarah, and the family they were with went outside to see what else there was to do.  The first thing they came to looked like a giant ropes course.  With further investigation, they found that the ropes course was part of the children’s playground and what looked like the adult ropes course was really a giant swing.  Of course all of the children from both families wanted to ride.  Lydia decided it would be fun to join them.

After a few “exercises” (stretches that were learned in Gym class in about the second grade) and an explanation about how the gear worked, all decided it would be best if Bethany and Sid (the oldest Kelly child) would ride together, Lydia and Zoe, and the oldest son of the other family went by himself.  After the dud ride of Sid and Bethany, Zoe and Lydia decided that they would go to the very highest part of the swing before letting lose to fall to the bottom.  Boy was that FUN!  The stomach dropped less then expected because they were not facing downward when they let loose, but it was better that way.  Together they soared high above the heads of their other family members glad they were brave enough to go to the top.

The Process of Recording- Part 3

Please note, “The Process of Recording” was written primarily for friends named Modge who have been following our main character’s story and therefore will contain mundane frivolous details that matter to no one but Modge and the author.  Please keep this in mind while reading.

Chapter 3

“Involuntary Fasting”

Most of the time life felt the same.  However, with every meal came the blow of abnormality, the sting of being a burden, and the cold of being alone in it all.  On top of all this, Celiac disease forced Lydia to fast…involuntarily.  One thing Lydia did realize though was that if she didn’t voluntarily choose the weakness of fasting, she would lose both ways—she wouldn’t receive the eternal rewards and would end up bitter at God and the world instead.  The day after Lydia landed in Hong Kong with the Kellys, the family with whom she traveled with, she lay on her bed trying to process everything racing around in her mind.

The race finished as follows:  In 5th place- it was depressing how defenseless Lydia felt in regards to food.  4th place-  it was even more depressing that anger manifested in response to the lack of control.  3rd place-  there was no way Lydia was going to let bitterness win in this one.  2nd-  3rd place was exhausting.  And coming in first place…barely…the only way Lydia would not end up bitter was to be placed under the feet of Jesus and remember Psalm 16:

“You maintain my lot.  The lines have fallen to me in pleasant  places; yes, I have a good inheritance.  I will bless the Lord who has given me counsel; My heart also instructs me in the night seasons.  I have set the Lord always before me; Because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved.  Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; My flesh shall rest in hope.  For You did not leave my soul in Sheol.  Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption. You will show me the path of life; In your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:5-11).

The award ceremony suddenly ended with a precious voice calling, “Lydia, would you help me hook up the Wii please?” Zoe, the nine-year-old daughter of Aaron and Pam, came in from up stairs.

“Absolutely.” And off Lydia went thankful that at least the process of sanctification and learning to trust and lean on the Lord was made more enjoyable by involving this amazing little girl.